You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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