I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
