how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
