I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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