After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
