well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
