Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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