when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
