i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
