Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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