i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize