Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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