Screwed.edu
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
