After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
