Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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