I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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