The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
