There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize