Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize