let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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