Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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