It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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