she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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