oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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