And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
