Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
