margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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