need another drink. this is the easiest way
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize