He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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