Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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