Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
