I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
