You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
