with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
