I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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