I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
