Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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