you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
