He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
