In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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