She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize