a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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