Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
