My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
