i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Randomize
