Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
soo... how was my night?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
