she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
