omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
