idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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