whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
