I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
