i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
