Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i love accidental penises.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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