I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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