I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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