States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
