Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
