O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
thus making me awesome and them whores
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
