you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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