chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
