New invention idea: vibrating tampons
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm like, not good at living.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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