i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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