what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
