therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
