porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
