She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
God, I missed his penis.
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