Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
