it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
