and she was petting her beer can
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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