I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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