You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
