I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize