We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she peed on how many people?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
