This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
